REVIEW OF CHRISTMAS DINNER AT THE ISCC (2023)

Christmas dinner is a tradition in millions of households around the world, and in most prisons throughout the US. That tradition holds true in Idaho prisons as well, and while prison food cannot hold a Yuletide candle to a home-cooked meal prepared and served with loving hands and heart, and shared with family and friends, it is often better than the standard fare.

In addition to the Christmas meal, prisoners at the ISCC were treated to miniature packages of small cookies (4 traditional Oreo cookies, 4 Nutter Butter cookies and 4 Chocolate chip). Later we received 2 more mini cookies (vanilla Oreos), a total of 14 cookies. Not bad considering the fact we received no cookies for the past few years during the Christmas holiday season.

This year, the Christmas dinner menu at the Idaho State Correctional Center called for:

2.5 oz. Roasted Turkey
2.5 oz. Honey Roasted Ham
1/2 cup Corn Casserole
1/2 cup MASHED POTATOES
1/2 cup Poultry Gravy
1 cup Garden Salad
1 oz. Ranch Dressing
3.25 oz. Pecan Cobbler
2 oz Bread
1 pkt. Margarine

The Christmas turkey this year was "turkey roll", a Frankenstein-ish marriage of precooked white and dark meat, extruded from a machine in a tube shape, not unlike bologna. While it is real turkey [parts], it has an odd texture and taste (likely due to chemicals designed to hold it together). Heat and serve makes it easier to prepare, but it is often dry and/or mushy. The turkey roll, and the ham, were both pretty dried out - a victim of cooking in bulk I suppose. Overall, the meat (in total weighing less than 3 slices of white bread - well short of the 5 ounces called for on the menu) received a score of 3 out of 10.

Corn casserole. Not a familiar dish in my experience, but if it's supposed to be a bland, limp and wet square slab of tasteless goo reminiscent of cold oatmeal, then it was wonderful.

Although the menu memo posted in housing areas did not include mashed potatoes, there were in fact about half a cup of mashed potatoes in the Styrofoam tray, covered with gravy. Traditional, and relatively neutral tastes, a little salt/pepper (not supplied) made it palatable.

Garden salad - well, not bad at all. The only complaint with the salad was that it was apparently not mixed before plating, thus at least in my tray there were greens (lettuce and spinach), a hint of what I assume (and hope) was cauliflower, and a small sliver of something orange (carrot?). Other peoples' trays seemed to have a wider variety of veggies in the salad, so I have to give the salad a thumbs up (just the luck of the draw that there weren't a wider variety of vegetables on my tray). Salad dressing was available in a 1 oz. packet.

Bread consisted of one of the typical ISCC 2 oz. [dinner-style] rolls. Dry and hard, it had to be at least a couple days old, but edible. Margarine was from a plastic packet as well.

Pecan cobbler - until I took a bite, I thought it was supposed to be PEACH cobbler (I've never heard of PECAN cobbler before). This dessert was... interesting. A little smaller than a 4 by 4 inch square (approximately) it tasted like pecan pie filling (from a can), with no crust. It certainly had chopped pecans (or some kind of nut) and wasn't bad at all, though certainly not what I recall ever seeing on the Christmas table.

The best part of the meal - for me at least - was the ability to eat it alone, in my cell, sitting on my bed. The noise in the dayroom was muffled by the closed door, and the white noise of my fan turned to the highest setting created a not-too-bad ambiance. Certainly I'd much rather be sitting at a festive table with family and friends, but eating alone in the relative quiet certainly beats the available alternative.

All-in-all, the meal wasn't too bad (and the company wonderful) and I am indeed thankful for what I received. Yes, I can find things I consider wrong with the meal, but having the meal at all is a blessing in and of itself as there are so many in this world - at this very moment - who would find what I had in a single meal a banquet for a whole family for an entire day.

And that includes the corn goo.

Until next time...