CHRISTMAS SPIRIT LACKING THIS YEAR (2022)

I can't remember a year when I felt absolutely no Christmas spirit or joy during the holiday season. No matter how down I was, or how bad the situation I found myself in, there was always some part of me that found some joy, a few sentimental memories of happier times, a touch of nostalgia and more often than not, good will towards others. But not this year.

I'm not sure what the problem really is, but it seems I'm not alone in not being able to feel too "Christmas-y" this year, as others I've confided in have told me they too uncharacteristically lack any warm feeling normally associated with the holiday season. In years past, I'd have already had some semblance of a Christmas tree in constant view, a few handmade Christmas angels and other decorations would adorn my cell. A .gif of a fireplace with traditional yule log would flicker through the night on my tablet, and battery powered tea lights, colored with red and green highlighters would assist with the ambiance. Again, not this year. In fact, it feels like Christmas has already passed, though in reality it's less than a week away.

Maybe this is holiday depression people talk about, though I am certain that I'm pretty depressed every year, so that can't be (all of) the problem. Could be it's the economy, or the division and derision of society, though it seems more like it's the way we're being treated this year by prison administrators that has everyone (including myself) frustrated and on edge.

The food has been virtually inedible lately, we've lived with little if any hot water most of the month, the TV channels are almost always out, and administrators refuse even to address the issues, even ignoring legitimate and properly submitted concern forms. It's extremely noisy and loud on the tiers with inmates screaming at each other for no reason other than to annoy others, poker players slapping cards and dominoes being slammed on the steel tables while others blare radios into the dayroom attempting to make their own statement... and guards ignore the raucous.

Guards are however constantly on the PA system yelling at inmates to put on their shirt or take off their hats, yet the same guards say nothing when they walk the tier and the same inmates still have no shirt and still wear their hats. According to the guards, if they confront the offending offender in person, they'll have to do paperwork, so they just yell over the speaker instead. On the other hand, important announcements are almost whispered or so garbled they are incomprehensible.

Favoritism towards privileged inmates takes its toll on those excluded, creating a rift and animosity between those who have and those who have not, and exposes the underlying intent of staff intent in further dividing the inmate population. Were I even a bit of a conspiracy theorist, I'd have no problem believing that this was some sort of a social or psychological experiment.

Either way, the games (and games are the best description of what is happening) being played here have sure taken the joy out of the holiday season for many.

Bah Humbug - for now at least.